There’s very much I identify with in there and much not to do directly with alcoholism.

I was born on Christmas Eve so I strongly recognise the feeling of specialness leading nowhere. How can you not feel special when your birthdate is always written with Capital Letters? How can you not be let down when after the initial interest people show in the fact that you were born on a Capital Letter day, they then proceed to treat you like everyone else? Plebs!

My childhood was also blighted with nephritis – mine at the age of 8 but I spent 2 or 3 successive Christmases and birthdays in hospital with it.

My mother was a cut above my father and I also had and have a difficult relationship with one of them – but for me it’s my father. It was an armed camp at home. My mother had my older brother from her first marriage and my parents fought continually over Dad’s treatment of him. She left home with him at one stage and left my little brother there with my scary father. He was the chosen one! I had a difficult relationship with my mother as well – but I can pretty much unequivocally say that I always loved her. I do love Dad now but it is much more complicated than that as well.

My mother was always – I think genuinely – sick. When we learned that my nephritis was caused by a complication of tonsillitis, all I had to do was to complain of a sore throat and it was off to the docs and a few days in bed with the door closed and my mother bringing me toast and honey and warm milo. Ah, heavenly peace.

I also strongly identified with your treatment of your relationships before sobriety. I was SUCH A BITCH! Of course, I can still tend toward the self centred – who can’t, and all? – but I was psychotic in my disregard for boyfriends as actual people with feelings. They may as well have been the bar tender because that’s all I was inetrested in – someone to keep the liquor flowing.

Anyway, I’m sure there is much more but suffice to say that your book got a lot of ‘oh, yeahs’ out of me. It reminded me of this. I don’t know if you read it or not. But it too, is good reading for anyone long time sober. And anyone short time as well. As you can see from his comments, a LOT of people went to their first meeting after reading this.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/08/my_name_is_roger_and_im_an_alc.html

I’m sure your book will be just as helpful to others as well

I wonder if the Tony B. you mention towards the end of the book is Tony Barry? He is a dear friend of mine.

Again, thanks! I loved your book, Ross. It amazes me that you went from not being able to do anything to achieving the things you have.

Christine

Congratulations. Ross it is a great achievement.

Ross, this book is your gift to the community, your contribution to our society.

Especially all the layer upon layer of detail and the repetitions, and all the laughs.

Hughie sat there in the lounge room laughing out loud so often that after a while I demanded he just tell me the stories.

The little willy wag tail motif was good, like a totem or talisman (?) to hold on to.

And the subtlety of the various encouragements you received. The specific wording is so important.

Especially you dismissed all that bulldust about ‘you can do it alone, if only you have self-discipline’.

(I hate it whenever those Olympic sports stars and Oscar winners are interviewed on TV and they say: ‘Believe in yourself, work hard, and you’ll achieve your dream, just like me’ and I always answer the TV: “Yeah but what about all the other people who competed with you who also believed in themselves and lived the dream and worked harder than you did???”)

I like what your mate said, simply, stick close to AA and you won’t go too far wrong. The relief of having something to stick close to.

Especially I appreciated how you never glamorised the drinking. The humour didn’t come from the drinking, but from all the recoveries.

Love to Lyndal and Em-erald.

I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you for your memoir. I don’t have to tell you how much this is going to help the cause of alcoholism in this country. One of my staff showed it to me this morning so I haven’t even read it yet, but the cover says it all. I will send a mailer to the website moderator here in Melbourne to make sure it gets circulated in the AA Times.

I am going to get a few box fulls from UNSW and pop you up on the front of our website as feature of the month. Is this OK with you?? Am I better buying the books through you or them?

If you are down in Melbourne soon why don’t you give me a call and pop in. I will give you a look around a Private Rehab that is unashamedly biased towards 12 step philosophy.

Many Thanks Ross. I cannot wait to get into the book.